Intoxicated
by kayak
Summary: Sanji and Brook almost fulfill their dream of meeting mermaids. They hit a small bump.


Intoxicated

When they finally managed to reach Fisherman Island, the first thing Sanji wanted to do was search for the mermaids. All he did was babble on and on about the mermaids like an overzealous idiot. He and Brook had constant nosebleeds just thinking about it. Though Brook's nosebleeds weren't as bad as Sanji's. His were only trickles compare to Sanji's. Sanji spewed blood like a goddamn water fountain. It was really disgusting. Chopper was at his wit's end trying to keep him stabilized. They were making poor progress with his rehabilitation project. The low intensity photos only helped a little thus far.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to take him to the mermaids? I don't think he'll survive the encounter," Usopp asked, looking hesitantly at Sanji. He had hearts in his eyes and was dancing around everyone without a care in the world.

"It's all right. He's strong," Luffy laughed. "It's what he always dreamed of so don't stop him."

"Let the ero-cook kill himself. Serves him right."

"Such a cold thing to say, Zoro. Stand still, Luffy. I will put the barefoot coating on you next."

"But Robin, there's air on the Fisherman Island. We don't need to wear these."

"Yes, but we don't know the quality of the air or the pressure. It may or may not sustain us," Nami explained as she applied the coating onto Franky next. It took a bit of work considering how much bigger he had gotten. "Better to have these on. Usopp can test the air using one of his plants."

"That's right! Leave it to me," Usopp replied proudly. "Oi Chopper, are you sure you don't want to come? It'll be loads of fun. I can show off my new creations!" Grinning, he opened his bag to reveal a wide assortment of different gadgets.

Chopper peered over railing and shook his head. "I'll stay here and watch the ship with Nami."

No one pressed Nami to come along. Half of the crew knew better after their encounter with the new Fisherman Pirates.

After Nami applied the last coating on Robin, they set off enthusiastically. The crew broke into two parties. The first party consisted of Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Robin. Their job was to look for Hachi. Right before they left Sabaody Archipelago, Shakky gave them vague instructions left by Hachi on how to find him. Hopefully, Robin should have no problem deciphering them.

The second party was the quest for the mermaids. Of course that party was made up of Sanji and Brook. When Franky asked if he could come along too, they were greatly surprised, but welcomed him with open arms, hugging him. They even called him a fellow brother, whatever that meant.

"Do they even know where they are going?" Chopper asked as he watched them saunter off in the opposite direction that Luffy's group went.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Probably not."

Nami spent the rest of afternoon rifling through her crewmates' things. It was a silly habit she picked up as a kid. Almost like treasure hunting, so she couldn't help herself. She was dying to see what everyone had, but she never stole anything. In no way would she ever do that. She was just nosy by nature and she always made sure everything was back in their place.

First, Nami started in her own quarters. Robin's closet contained nothing but boring notebooks, clothes and hats. She was an assassin for Pete's sake. Where were the knives, poisons and other deadly things assassins kept? The most dangerous looking thing she found was a nail file. So disappointing.

When Chopper went into the galley for something to eat, Nami snuck into the men's quarter and started going through their lockers. Zoro had nothing interesting as usual. Just a pile stinky haramaki. She did find a weird toy bear with bandages wrapped around the mouth. It had several pins sticking out of it. Ghastly looking thing. Why did he have that? She tossed it back.

Usopp, as always, had booby trapped his locker. It looked like a more complicated type of booby trap than his usual fare. Nami decided to skip his locker for now. When she had more time, she would work out his system.

Luffy had food stored in his locker. They were mostly bento boxes and packaged snacks. There was even a slab of ham jammed in the back. She wondered how sanitary they were and made a mental note to herself not to eat anything that Luffy offered.

Nami was going to work on Brook's locker next when she heard some commotion outside. They were back already? Sparing no time, she cleaned up her tracks and ran out the men's quarters.

Acting as casually as possible, Nami followed the noise to the deck where she found Brook and Franky. Sanji was nowhere to be seen. Brook had lost his barefoot coating and was leaning against the wall, sounding very depressed. Franky was trying his best to cheer him up.

"Now, now. It's not that bad."

"Yoohoohoo," Brook sobbed softly to himself. "And to think, I put on my best clothes to see them."

"What happened?" Not that Nami really cared, but she felt the need to appear concerned.

"We found the merfolks. They live in a lagoon not far from here. It was a good thing that you made us wear these coatings, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to get down there."

"So you saw the mermaids. You should be happy then." Nami crossed her arms and looked at Brook. He was leaning at perfect 45 degree angle. Not bad.

"Not exactly," Franky spoke slowly. He popped his bubble and sat down, rubbing his chin. "We saw plenty of merfolks. Just the male variety."

"You saw only mermen?"

"Yep, only mermen. They got some strict rules. The girlies aren't allowed to be by themselves, they aren't allowed to leave the lagoon, and they aren't allowed to be seen by foreigners. They said they got a lot problems with kidnappings."

"Well that's understandable."

Franky reached over and gently patted Brook's back. "There, there. Don't give up hope, bro. Here, have a swig of this. This stuff should cheer you up fast." He popped open his chest and pulled out a fancy decanter.

"What's that?" Nami's eyes beamed at the sight of the white vessel. Even she knew it was something special without knowing what it was. It was shaped like a fish. Tiny shells covered the entire surface, mimicking the scales and two black pearls were embedded for the eyes. It was very well crafted, probably very valuable.

"Fisherman ale."

"You got Fisherman ale?" Nami asked incredulously, her eyes now shining in anticipation. She tried to contain her voice, but it was hard. Fisherman ale was the ultimate drink. The ambrosia of the Gods. The elixir of the life. The stuff was so rare and expensive, it was worth 1000 times its weight in gold.

"It was a parting gift from the mermen," Franky said, grinning. He popped off the stopper. "Shall we?"

After a little nudging from Franky, Brook got off his wall and they all shared in the wonderful liquor. It was absolutely divine. Positively the best drink Nami ever had and she had her share of drinks. They passed the decanter back and forth, each taking a shot until it was all gone.

"No more," Brook spoke sadly, shaking the empty bottle.

"Couldn't last forever, bro." Franky clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back, enjoying the warm effects of the alcohol. "Definitely better than cola."

"Hmm, Sanji-san still has that other one."

"What? Where is he?" Nami snapped. If there was another bottle, she had to have it. Brook and Franky were already enjoying their buzz from the few gulps. She barely felt anything. Her having a high tolerance to alcohol might seem like a good thing, but it only meant she needed more alcohol just to get a little tipsy. Sometimes it just wasn't fair.

"I think he went crying somewhere. You should leave him alone."

Chopper came out and climbed down the stairs, munching on a snack. "Sanji? I saw him go up to the garden. What's wrong with him? Does he need a doctor?" He started to panic, running back and forth.

"No, Chopper. He's good. Just needs time to himself."

Nami sped off despite Franky's protests to leave him in peace. Like she cared if Sanji was weeping like a little girl. She just wanted that other decanter.

She climbed up the ladder from the galley and stared out into the garden that she and Robin shared. She spotted Robin's flowers still alive after two years and her three mikan trees, but didn't see Sanji. Maybe he went up to the observation room, she thought. Then her eyes caught a glimpse of something black hidden behind one of her trees.

When Nami approached him, she found him slumped against the tree, cradling the decanter in his arms like it was a baby. His disheveled hair and his tossed jacket were so unlike him. Sanji wasn't aware that she was watching him. He was totally wasted. No surprise to her since it didn't take much to get him drunk. He had a much lower tolerance compare to her.

Nami reached down and tried to remove the decanter, but his grip was iron tight. He wasn't letting go no matter how hard she pulled and clawed at his hands.

"Sanji-kun, I think you had enough to drink. Give me the bottle."

The pulling and tugging only woke him from his slumber. He blinked a few time at her, looking very confused. "Nami-swan," he slurred. Sanji got up onto his feet and stumbled, swinging the bottle around. He got half way across the garden before he lost his balance and landed flat on his back. "The mermaids..."

"Yes, yes. I heard it all from Franky. You didn't see any mermaids. How sad. Now why don't you give me the bottle and you can go sleep it off in your room."

"Mermen! Shitty mermen!" Sanji shouted, trying to stand up again. "There aren't suppose to be any mermen. Only mermaids."

"What do you mean? Of course there are mermen. Be realistic."

"The stories only mention the mermaids." He fell back down on the grass and sighed blissfully with a dreamy gaze. "Beautiful, wonderful mermaids."

"You read too many fairy tales." Nami sat down beside him and made another attempt on the decanter, but it was pointless. Even drunk, Sanji's strength was abnormally strong.

His demeanor changed and he became loud again. "I hate mermen! They're fat, hairy, ugly, dumb, disgusting and...fat." He hiccuped.

Dumbfounded, Nami contemplated on what to do while she listened to Sanji's incoherent rants about the mermen. A plastered Sanji was aggravating to deal with. It was one of those rare occasions when he didn't obey her every word or fawn over her. At least, he wasn't spraying blood out of his nose like a water hose. A surprising plus side.

Now if only he would shut up for a moment so she could think clearly.

"So close," he cried.

Annoying.

"Lovely mermaids," he cooed.

Idiot!

"Fucking mermen!" he cursed.

His jabbering finally got on her nerves and she couldn't take it anymore.

Enough!

Nami bent down towards his mouth and kissed him. His eyes widened and his body went rigid with shock, but then slowly melted under her touch. His hold on the bottle loosened and Nami snatched it away triumphantly.

Yes! She got it. All the silly fool needed was a good kissing to shut him up. The best part, she got the decanter. She yanked out the stopper and leaned back to down the rest of the ale when she noticed nothing poured out.

Huh? NO!

Nami gaped inside. Empty. Not a drop left. She shot Sanji a hateful look.

That asshole! Sanji drank it all. How could him.

Nami wanted to wail and hit Sanji. In spite of her best effort, it was all for nothing. All she had left was the memory. The memory of the sweet, tantalizing Fisherman ale lingering on her lips. Licking her lips, she could still taste it. Taste it?

Nami stared slowly down at him, her anger receding. Sanji, who had gone quiet, squeezed his eyes closed and then opened them, looking dazed and stupid. He was clueless.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Not as gentle as the first time, Nami grabbed his jaw and firmly kissed him again. Her tongue pushed into his mouth as she sucked at his tongue. She didn't plan to hold back. She was ravenous, her tongue plunging and tasting every part of his mouth. She could savor it. It was still there. Rich, velvety, and intense. If only she could get drunk off this kiss.

When she broke the kiss, Sanji was gasping for air like a swimmer after a long dive. The kiss had made him short of breath and his face, which was flushed before from the drinking, had grown a deeper shade of red. Nami smirked, feeling very satisfied with herself.

Nami rested for a while, appraising the decanter. It should be worth something when they got back to the surface. She thought it best to grab the other one from the boys before they broke it.

After their little activity, Nami thought Sanji had passed out, but she was wrong. Quite the opposite in fact. He lurched up and grabbed hold of her with an unexpected swiftness that she almost dropped the bottle.

Sanji hugged her waist, one side of his face pressed against her abdomen. "Nami-san," he exclaimed happily and then hiccuped, giving her a joyful smile. "I dreamed I was drowning and you saved me. You were a mermaid."

"That's nice," Nami said, patting his hair. Before she knew it, he had passed out for real, his head falling on her lap. His breathing was slow and even, signaling his slumber. When she tried to untangle herself from his grasp, she was annoyed to discover he had the same iron tight grip as before.

"Oh great."


End file.
